He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
