The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
