Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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