You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
