Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
