You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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