I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
