I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
