dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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