You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
