that's an acceptable place to lick
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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