I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Come share oat with me in your robe
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
