Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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