I just pynch a tree in the face
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
