ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize