If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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