I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
