i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize