You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
