Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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