where am i from again
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
