Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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