There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
