I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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