This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
