Porn is love you can see.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this boner is exhausting
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
