When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
