You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
