I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
