drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
