yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
