yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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