Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
