i barfeds in our rink
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
