Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
