i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
