My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
