I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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