Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
