We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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