I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
