Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
