It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
