Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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