I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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