PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
