So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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