i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
