I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
