Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
