i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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