k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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