i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
