There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
