remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
