Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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