And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
