I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
