butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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