This is not my ceiling
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
