I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
