the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
